Another Angel

We found out earlier this week that we lost another baby. We now have four little angels in Heaven praying for the rest of their family here. This one, like the second, never developed past five weeks (we lost the other two around eight-and-a-half weeks).

As it turns out, one can be “kind of” pregnant. Like most of the other times, I still have all the first trimester symptoms including being incredibly nauseas all day long. It makes it even more difficult to deal with the emotional loss while still feeling horrible.

But we will get through our sadness with faith, prayers and love. Once again, Princess (aka “Little One” – but she’s not so little any more) has the right attitude: she is happy to have an angel in Heaven.

Our loss - and our gain in Heaven

Before Little One was born, we lost two other children through miscarriages. We recently lost another one. Yes, I struggle with "why", especially since I was on aspirin and progesterone (which worked once before). But I know this baby, along with two of his siblings, is in Heaven and that we as a family have three babies to intercede on our behalf always.

Prayer on EWTN from Mother Angelica:

My Lord, the baby is dead!

Why, my Lord—dare I ask why? It will not hear the whisper of the wind or see the beauty of its parents’ face—it will not see the beauty of Your creation or the flame of a sunrise. Why, my Lord?

“Why, My child—do you ask ‘why’? Well, I will tell you why.

You see, the child lives. Instead of the wind he hears the sound of angels singing before My throne. Instead of the beauty that passes he sees everlasting Beauty—he sees My face. He was created and lived a short time so the image of his parents imprinted on his face may stand before Me as their personal intercessor. He knows secrets of heaven unknown to men on earth. He laughs with a special joy that only the innocent possess. My ways are not the ways of man. I create for My Kingdom and each creature fills a place in that Kingdom that could not be filled by another. He was created for My joy and his parents’ merits. He has never seen pain or sin. He has never felt hunger or pain. I breathed a soul into a seed, made it grow and called it forth.”

I am humbled before you, my Lord, for questioning Your wisdom, goodness, and love. I speak as a fool—forgive me. I acknowledge Your sovereign rights over life and death. I thank You for the life that began for so short a time to enjoy so long an Eternity.

Because it was still early (first trimester), we had only told close family and Little One. Some may argue against telling a child, especially a small child. But we want her to know that every life is precious and cherished. And now she knows that the baby is in Heaven with Jesus.

We are doing ok. I'm a little nervous since I will be having surgery soon for the miscarriage, so please keep us in your prayers.